Leading in a Lonely World: Why Connection Matters More Than Ever

I gave a talk recently at a leadership conference, one of those whirlwind trips where you fly in, pour all your energy into connecting with the audience, and then slip right back into the rhythm of home and real life. It is always a bit of a paradox—so much intensity and impact in the moment, and yet such quiet reflection immediately afterward. 

You spend an hour on a stage in front of hundreds or even thousands of people, pouring out energy and connection, and then you find yourself alone again in a quiet hotel room or an airport corner. The work is purposeful and deeply meaningful. And still, it can feel surprisingly lonely.

A Simple Act Can Bring You Back to Center

After this particular talk, I sat in that familiar in-between space. Did it land? Did it help? Did it matter? These are the questions leaders ask themselves more often than we admit, because so much of leadership involves giving energy without always receiving it back in the moment.

Then a colleague reached out. A simple message. A moment of noticing. “How did it go?” “How are you?” “I was thinking about you.” That small act brought me right back to center. It reminded me that impact is not made in isolation. It is made in relationship with others. And that being checked on, seen, and held in someone’s awareness is one of the deepest ways we feel human again.

The Power of Being Seen

I have been thinking about this a lot. About connection. About the role we play in one another’s lives. About how leadership in its highest form is the work of acknowledging others, noticing what is happening with them, and mirroring back their light.

James Baldwin captured this truth with unmatched clarity:

“The longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love, whether we call it friendship or family or romance, is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other’s light. Gentle work. Steadfast work. Life-saving work in those moments when life and shame and sorrow occlude our own light from our view, but there is still a clear-eyed loving person to beam it back.”

In our best moments, we are that person for another. And in our hardest moments, someone is that person for us. We are not meant to do life alone. We are not meant to do leadership alone. And yet loneliness in the modern world is pervasive and growing.

Loneliness: An Urgent Public Health Crisis

You may recall the U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, called loneliness an urgent public health crisis, with physical effects comparable to smoking fifteen cigarettes a day.

Physical health impacts include increased mortality, cardiovascular disease, weakened immune function, chronic illness, and impaired sleep. Mental health impacts include depression, anxiety, cognitive decline, and heightened stress. Even temporary loneliness can cause fatigue, headaches, and nausea. 

A recent article from Harvard Business Review highlights that loneliness is reshaping workplaces—not only harming individual well‑being but also undermining trust, performance, and culture. 

Loneliness is not abstract. It is present in our colleagues, our teams, our leaders, and our workplaces. It spills into performance, trust, innovation, and well-being. And still, we often confuse visibility for connection. The plight of social media often leaves you feeling even more outside the circle, less connected, or somehow not good enough. Being seen as a human being is about true connection.

Connection Is Leadership Work

If you lead people, you are not only responsible for strategy, performance, and results. You are also responsible for cultivating connection. Not the performative kind, but the human kind. The kind that says:

I notice you.
I care enough to check in.
I want to know how you are.
I want to know how that presentation, negotiation, board meeting, launch, or personal milestone went.
I want to see your light and return it to you when you cannot see it yourself.

Leaders who create cultures of connection are not soft. They are strategic. Because connection fuels trust, and trust fuels performance. Connection reduces burnout, strengthens resilience, and increases engagement. Connection is not the opposite of accountability. Connection is what makes accountability sustainable. This is the work of what we call The Connected Leader.

A Simple Invitation to Lead with Connection

So here is my invitation. A simple one. Make connection the order of the day. Ask the extra question. Send the quick follow-up. Notice what someone is carrying. Mirror back something good you see in them. Step out of your bubble and into someone else’s world for a moment.

Connection is not a luxury. It is the lifeblood of human wellbeing and the foundation of great leadership.

And it starts with us.