Stop Hustling for Your Worth. Start Leading From It

Recently, a friend of mine (an accomplished and insightful chief executive) described someone I had introduced him to as “unassumingly very, very smart.” I smiled, because what struck me is that this description could just as easily describe him. Both of these friends embody something rare: intellectual humility paired with steady, grounded confidence.

When you encounter someone like that, you feel it immediately. Their presence doesn’t push or posture, it invites. They meet you not with ego, but with ease. Not with arrogance, but with authentic self-belief. Research confirms that this kind of humility—especially in leadership—is not only magnetic, it builds trust and drives results.

This kind of humility opens doors. It deepens engagement. It creates a ripple effect of respect. And it reminds me of a long-held belief: when you lead from a place of knowing the value of what you offer, instead of insecurity, everything changes.

From Proving to Believing

For much of my early career, I was going full speed. I worked tirelessly, striving for excellence, impact, and success. And let me be clear: there’s nothing wrong with striving. When it’s fueled by purpose, it calls forth our gifts and benefits others.

But somewhere along the way, I realized I wasn’t just striving, I was hustling. Hustling to be seen. To be valued. To feel worthy. I had unknowingly tied my value to my performance and to the approval of others.

Looking back, I see the wake I left behind. Like a boat speeding through the water, unaware of the waves crashing into the other boats nearby. I wasn’t malicious. I was simply unaware that my impact didn’t always match my intention.

That realization was humbling. I had to pause and ask: what’s driving this need to perform, please, control, and perfect? Beneath it all, I found what many of us do when we get honest: a quiet fear of being “found out,” of not being enough.

The Other Side of the Story

But here’s the other truth: the greatest threat to our leadership isn’t always self-doubt. Sometimes it’s how we respond to others.

When we feel uneasy, overwhelmed, or subtly superior, it can be easier to judge than to reflect. Whether it’s criticism, contempt, or quiet frustration, it’s tempting to project our inner tension outward. I’ve done it. We all have.

But when we operate from that place, whether rooted in insecurity or indignation, we disconnect. We close off. And we diminish the very impact we hope to make. Because here’s the truth: self-doubt and superiority are two sides of the same coin. Both are defenses. And both disrupt trust, belonging, and effective leadership.

The Shift That Changed Everything

As I began to understand these dynamics, including my own hustle for worthiness and my occasional blunt edges, everything started to shift. I didn’t need more credentials or external praise. I needed a new relationship with myself. And a more generous way of seeing others.

I started practicing what the research on self-awareness and emotional intelligence has long confirmed: that leadership isn’t just about knowledge or drive—it’s about cultivating self-trust, compassion, and curiosity. I started holding myself in warm regard, even (especially) when I got it wrong. I paid attention to my reactions. I chose grace instead of judgment. I learned how to repair, first with myself, then with others, when my impact missed the mark.

That’s not weakness. That’s leadership.

This kind of grounded confidence, this steady sense of enoughness, is what allows us to lead with clarity and care. And let’s be honest, it’s not something we hold perfectly all the time. We get tired. We snap. We fall back into old patterns. But the point is not perfection. It’s the practice of returning. Again and again.

What Leadership Requires Today

From the rise of AI and tools advancing faster than any of us can keep pace, to the emotionally complex, five-generation workplaces we now navigate, we are living in a time that demands a new kind of leadership. The kind that doesn’t just rely on competence, but on consciousness.

The best leaders don’t need to prove themselves. They already know who they are. That’s what allows them to stay steady when others disagree. That’s what creates the psychological safety for others to bring their best forward too.

Whether I’m coaching a senior executive, mentoring a rising professional, or speaking to a room full of leaders, I see the same truth again and again: the most grounded and trusted leaders are secure in themselves – confident without ego, open to growth – and they extend respect to others, even when they see things differently.

They stay centered.
They stay open.
They keep their best people.

The Power of Enoughness

Believing you are enough doesn’t mean you stop growing. It means your worth isn’t on the line every time you stumble. It means you give yourself permission to learn, to lead, and to rise again with clarity and care.

You stop hustling for your value and start leading from it.

And when you do, everything shifts. Your relationships. Your teams. Your impact. You become the kind of leader who brings out the best in others because you are grounded in the best of yourself.

A Final Word

If you’ve ever doubted your worth, chased perfection, or tried to control others…
If you’ve ever judged others…
If you’ve ever stayed small, or grown sharp, or felt like you had something to prove…

You’re not alone. I’ve lived all of it. So have the leaders I most admire.

And I’m here to remind you: you don’t need to hustle for your worth. You don’t need to win by being hard on others. There is a better way.

Let’s lead from there.